Quotes

Failure is the opportunity to begin again more intelligently.

-Henry Ford

Knowing is not enough, we must apply. Willing is not enough, we must do.

– Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

We must either find a way or make one.

-Hannibal

In any moment of decision the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.

-Theodore Roosevelt

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Kako da drugi pomognu nama

Ten Commandments for Helping Parents of Children with Special Needs
By Michele Stiefel

1. Do not avoid talking about our child with us. Do ask how he is doing. We may not answer much in the beginning — or we may spill our guts! Either way, we remember those who asked and can’t seem to forget those who didn’t.
2. Touch us; touch our child. A hug, a hand on an arm, a look into our eyes lets us know that you care. A gentle caress on a child’s cheek or holding a hand makes us feel “normal.” We feel very alone and different in the beginning.
3. Don’t tell us how we should or shouldn’t feel! We feel what we feel and that’s that! In the early days and months, we are struggling with raw emotion that is usually right near the surface.
4. Don’t say, “God only gives us as much as we can handle!” We are just trying to survive from one day to the next, especially in the beginning. What an additional load to put on someone who often doesn’t feel like he or she is handling anything well at all!
5. Don’t’ say, “I admire you” or “You are so noble.” Unless the parents willingly went out to adopt a child with special needs, we didn’t want it to happen! We don’t feel noble. At times we even feel trapped!
6. Do offer to help. Come and sit with the child so we can take a much needed break. Cook a meal or two and deliver them. Offer to take the siblings out for ice cream or pizza. Tell us that you are just a phone call away if we need anything — and then call us back to see how things are going.
7. Be patient with us. It is very hard to work through our grief. In the beginning, all we can see are the things that our child can’t or will not be able to do. If we have always been independent or overachievers ourselves, it may be hard for us to accept your help right away. Please persevere; eventually we will be ready to accept your help.
8. Be sure to acknowledge the sibling of the special needs child. In the aftermath of a diagnosis, etc., the sibling can get lost in the turmoil. If you go to visit, take something special for the brother or sister, too. Be sure to say hello to them. Talk with them before you make a fuss over the baby.
9. Please don’t stare. If our child doesn’t look “normal” or acts differently, we are very aware of it. In fact, that’s all we can see at first. Find something positive to say — something as simple as “What beautiful eyes!” can be music to our ears.
10. Remember, no matter what kind of disability our child has, he is still a child. He has a need to be loved and accepted. He has a need to be happy and to belong. He needs hugs and laughter, music and friends. He needs you — and so do we!

Kako da pomognemo sami sebi

The Ten Commandments for Parents of Children with Special Needs
Author Unknown (but deeply appreciated)

1. Take one day at a time, and take that day positively. You don’t have control over the future, but you do have control over today.
2. Never underestimate your child’s potential. Allow him/her, encourage him/her, expect him/her to develop to the best of his/her abilities.
3. Find and allow positive mentors: parents and professionals who can share with you their experience, advice, and support.
4. Provide and be involved with the most appropriate educational and learning environments for your child from infancy on.
5. Keep in mind the feelings and needs of your spouse and your other children. Remind them that this child does not get more of your love just because s/he gets more of your time.
6. Answer only to your conscience; then you’ll be able to answer to your child. You need not justify your actions to your friends or the public.
7. Be honest with your feelings. You can’t be a super-parent 24 hours a day. Allow yourself jealousy, anger, pity, frustration, and depression in small amounts whenever necessary.
8. Be kind to yourself. Don’t focus continually on what needs to be done. Remember to look at what you have accomplished.
9. Do stop and smell the roses. Take advantage of the fact that you have gained a special appreciation for the little miracles in life that others take for granted.
10. Keep and use a sense of humor. Cracking up with laughter can keep you from cracking up from stress.

Priča koja me je naterala da se zamislim

Special Olympics
Ovaj mail sa dobila 2000. godine, dakle dosta pre nego što se Vanja rodila. Plakala sam kad sam ga pročitala, sećam se odlično.
Malopre, istu priču sam dobila od druge osobe. I opet sam plakala.

Special Olympics
… And they call some of these people “retarded”…A few years ago, at the Seattle Special Olympics, nine contestants, all physically or mentally disabled, assembled at the starting line for the 100-yard dash. At the gun, they all started out, not exactly in a dash, but with a relish to run the race to the finish and win. All, that is, except one little boy who stumbled on the asphalt, tumbled over a couple of times, and began to cry.

The other eight heard the boy cry. They slowed down and looked back. Then they all turned around and went back. Every one of them. One girl with Down’s Syndrome bent down and kissed him and said, “This will make it better.”

Then all nine linked arms and walked together to the finish line. Everyone in the stadium stood, and the cheering went on for several minutes. People who were there are still telling the story. Why?

Because deep down we know this one thing: What matters in this life is more than winning for ourselves. What matters in this life is helping others win, even if it means slowing down and changing our course.

Pass it on… we need to change our hearts.

Prije nekoliko godina, na para olimpijskim igrama u Seattlu, bilo je 9 atletičara, svi sa mentalnim i fizičkim oštećenjima, spremnih na startnoj liniji od 100 metara. Na pucanj pištolja započelo je takmičenje, ne sprintom, ali kod svih sa željom da stignu do cilja i pobjede. Dok su trčali, jedan je dečkić posrnuo, pao, nekoliko se puta prevrnuo i započeo plakati. Ostalih osam trkača čulo je dječakov plač. Usporili su i okrenuli se. Zaustavili su se i vratili nazad. SVI. Jedna djevojčica sa Downovim sindromom, sjela je pored njega i počela ga ljubiti govoreći: Da li ti je sada bolje? Nakon toga su ga podigli i sva devetorica su zagrljeni odšetali do cilja. Svi su na stadionu ustali sa svojih mjesta i nekoliko minuta od srca pljeskali takmičarima. Ljudi, koji su bili prisutni, jos uvijek pricaju o tome.

Zasto? Jer u nama samima znamo da najvažnija stvar u životu, za nas same, ide dalje od pobjede. U ovom zivotu je veoma važno pomagati drugima, da pobjede, iako to znači usporiti ili promijeniti našu vlastitu trku.

Tekst je bio bez č i ć, i dok to ispravljam, plačem i ne vidim ekran od suza.

Celebrating Holland

Celebrating Holland – I’m Home by Cathy Anthony

Evo i nastavka…

(follow-up to the original Welcome to Holland by Emily Perl Kingsley)

I have been in Holland for over a decade now. It has become home. I have had time to catch my breath, to settle and adjust, to accept something different than I’d planned. I reflect back on those years of past when I had first landed in Holland. I remember clearly my shock, my fear, my anger, the pain and uncertainty. In those first few years, I tried to get back to Italy as planned, but Holland was where I was to stay. Today, I can say how far I have come on this unexpected journey. I have learned so much more. But, this too has been a journey of time.

I worked hard. I bought new guidebooks. I learned a new language and I slowly found my way around this new land. I have met others whose plans had changed like mine, and who could share my experience. We supported one another and some have become very special friends.

Some of these fellow travelers had been in Holland longer than I and were seasoned guides, assisting me along the way. Many have encouraged me. Many have taught me to open my eyes to the wonder and gifts to behold in this new land. I have discovered a community of caring. Holland wasn’t so bad.

I think that Holland is used to wayward travelers like me and grew to become a land of hospitality, reaching out to welcome, to assist and to support newcomers like me in this new land. Over the years, I’ve wondered what life would have been like if I’d landed in Italy as planned. Would life have been easier? Would it have been as rewarding? Would I have learned some of the important lessons I hold today?

Sure, this journey has been more challenging and at times I would (and still do) stomp my feet and cry out in frustration and protest. And, yes, Holland is slower paced than Italy and less flashy than Italy, but this too has been an unexpected gift. I have learned to slow down in ways too and look closer at things, with a new appreciation for the remarkable beauty of Holland with its tulips, windmills and Rembrandts.

I have come to love Holland and call it Home.

I have become a world traveler and discovered that it doesn’t matter where you land. What’s more important is what you make of your journey and how you see and enjoy the very special, the very lovely, things that Holland, or any land, has to offer.

Yes, over a decade ago I landed in a place I hadn’t planned. Yet I am thankful, for this destination has been richer than I could have imagined!

© by Cathy Anthony. All rights reserved.

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    holandske klompe (18)

Welcome To Holland


Welcome To Holland by Emily Perl Kingsley
Pre dosta vremena sam na net-u slučajno naišla na ovaj tekst.
Kad sam ga prvi put pročitala, plakala sam…
I svaki sledeći put suze bi same krenule…

Da se ne izgubi, evo ga…

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability – to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It’s like this……

When you’re going to have a baby, it’s like planning a fabulous vacation trip – to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coloseum. The Michelangelo’s David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It’s all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, “Welcome to Holland.”

“Holland?!?” you say. “What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I’m supposed to be in Italy. All my life I’ve dreamed of going to Italy.”

But there’s been a change in the flight plan. They’ve landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven’t taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It’s just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It’s just a different place. It’s slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you’ve been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around…. and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills….and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy… and they’re all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say “Yes, that’s where I was supposed to go. That’s what I had planned.”

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away… because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.

But… if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn’t get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things … about Holland.

©1987 by Emily Perl Kingsley. All rights reserved.